7 Things I Said I’d Never Do as a Parent… But Totally Do!

Oh, how we think we know everything before we become parents! It’s like the ultimate laugh in your face. Only along with the laughing there’s crying, guilt, heavy sighing, exhaustion… you know the drill.  

Before I had my daughter, I had these grand illusions that I would spend every day playing educational games with her, taking her out to different places all the time, reading her all the great books, etc. But let’s be real… most days, I’m lucky if I have the energy to make enough coffee to get through the day.

 Don’t get me wrong, I have a lot of good days where I do accomplish those things, but I’ve learned quickly that when it comes to parenting, there has to be a balance to stay sane. So, I decided to “confess” what ridiculous parenting expectations I got wrong as well as accept my so-called #momfails. Enjoy!

1.    My house will be so clean since I’m home all the time!
This one makes me laugh the hardest. Before baby, I was pretty particular about how our house looked. I still am, to be honest. When the house is a wreck, it triggers my anxiety and I either find reasons to not be in it or just suffer in silence until I find time to clean it. However, with a baby, that’s not so easy. Most days I was lucky to get 30 minutes to pick up a room. It’s taken me until now (10+ months later) to nail down a routine to keep the house manageable. Is our house picture perfect? Hell no. Is it functional? For the most part. And when you’re keeping a little human alive, that’s all that matters.

2.    I’ll never feed my child packaged baby food.
When Ellis started solids, I was adamant that I was going to make all of her food. And for the most part, I’ve stuck to that plan. However, when we’re on the go or I haven’t made it to the grocery store yet, the bottle just isn’t enough. So, I gave in and bought pre-made baby food as back-up. And guess what? I don’t feel bad about it! I found an awesome brand that we both love called Sprout Foods. I picked them because all of the ingredients are real food (so 0 preservatives), it’s local to where I live, and they offer recipes you can make (like smoothies or protein balls) using their products, which will be great when she’s older.

3.    My baby will never watch TV.
Yep. Failed this one pretty quick into my parenting journey. I’m a tv/movie person. Even if I’m not watching, I like having one on as background noise if I’m not in the mood for music or a podcast—especially if I’m home alone (product of being an only child, I guess). I’m pretty good at balancing it when Ellis is around, but avoiding it completely is just not in the cards in our house. Especially if the only way I can finish my coffee in the mornings is 20 minutes of Sesame Street—remember, this post is about finding a balance for your sanity, so no judgments!

4.    I’ll get my “me time” during naps.
Hahahaha 😂 I’m not saying I don’t sneak in my me-time here and there, but let’s be real… me-time has a new meaning when you’re raising a human. Sometimes it’s folding laundry or doing the dishes, other times it’s taking a shower longer than 5 minutes—and on good times it’s a nap for you too.

5. I won’t buy that many toys, clothes, baby stuff.
I’ve just recently gotten better with this one, but it’s only because I just Marie Kondo-ed her nursery and found items she either never used or wore or I had no idea she even had them to begin with. So, I need to reel it in a bit for my sanity and wallet. But it’s hard. The baby section is now my favorite section at Target—most trips I just beeline right to it rather than doing my usual circuit. They’re stuff is just so cute! It’s not fair.

6.    Well, I’ll be breastfeeding so we’ll save money not buying formula.
Ohhhh I wish this one weren’t true. I could write an entire post about my breastfeeding journey (and I just might one day), but today’s not the day to unwrap that emotional rollercoaster. Long story short, I never produced enough milk to sustain our daughter so she was inevitably formula-fed. It took me awhile to get over it, but ultimately, I’ve accepted that it was the only way I could keep my daughter fed and that’s all that matters. #FedIsBest, people. Anyone who says different can happily jump off a cliff.

7.    I’ll still be the same person I was before kids.
It’s amazing how a tiny little person can change you when they enter this world. I’m not saying you change completely. You’re still you, but your perspective on things is going to change. What you thought was important no longer matters and the little things you didn’t even think about before are on your mind daily. Because now, everything you do affects that little person. So yea, things are different. And that’s ok. I personally see it as a sign of personal growth.

The lesson? Parenting is always going to be harder than you expect. It’s also exciting, wonderful, and all the good things you can imagine wrapped up in one. But one thing it’s not, is perfect. At the end of the day, if you and your child are safe and happy—you’re doing a great job!

-J